Dry Run!

Cyclonus and Scourge call on Shockwave to form an alliance, only for their stupidity to land them in a fight for their lives against the ultimate opponent

THA-KUNCH! The sound of an uppercut from a mystery assailant that leaves Galvatron damaged and disorientated. He retreats to prepare a particle cannon blast, but takes a drop-kick and is blown to bits by a Fusion Cannon blast – Fraddam! It’s all over in 10 seconds. Megatron is victorious!

It’s fair to say that Dry Run, the 1988 story from Marvel UK (scripted by Dan Abnett, using a plot by Simon Furman), makes a dramatic entrance. Long-time readers will have been aware that Galvatron is the most powerful Decepticon there is. Created by a god (Unicron) during the Transformers Movie, he’s said to be the ultimate enhancement of Megatron – more powerful, more durable, more cunning. Yet here getting his ass kicked by his less powerful former self. What gives?

Simon Furman’s masterpiece Target: 2006 introduced readers to the concept of facsimile constructs – automated fake Transformers used in combat training. So, it’s not a surprise that Galvatron we’ve just witnessed getting ripped to bits is a fake, and I cannot imagine that Megatron could dispatch the real Galvatron with the same effortless ease. Nevertheless, Shockwave is pleased.

Since Enemy Action, earlier in the year, he’s been paranoid that Galvatron, who fled 2006 to hide out in ‘present day’ Earth (the 1980s as was), is out to steal his command. And not wanting to take him on directly, Shockwave had recovered the non-functional Megatron from his watery grave in the Thames and reprogrammed him into an obedient agent of destruction.

In the US ‘master’ continuity Shockwave burned up in Earth’s orbit after a space battle with Fortress Maximus (see Desert Island of Space) and the ambitious Ratbat very rapidly jumped into his seat (Shockwave would resurface on the beach at Blackpool in a later US story, creating a continuity faux pas).

In the UK comic, the fall to Earth was less of a big deal. Shockwave dusted himself off and regrouped to the original Decepticon base, Fortress Sinister, to continue his machinations. One of these would have been dealing with the Galvatron situation. However, if he’s worried about threats to his command, Ratbat ought to be the immediate problem.

As Shockwave muses the possibility of testing Megatron against more substantial opposition, he watches Cyclonus and Scourge on the monitor. These two refugees from the future are waiting in the hall, having come to Shockwave for his protection following their abortive attack on Galvatron (they confronted their former boss, Galvatron, in Wrecking Havoc hoping to steal his time travel device).

It’s debatable what protection Shockwave can provide, seeing as he seems to be on his own in the fortress – the rest of his Decepticon army is with Ratbat.

Cyclonus is on edge. He’s uncomfortable about cosying up to Shockwave, who was their hated commander in 2008 and who they subsequently executed (well, Death’s Head did the deed, but with their help). This was in the very excellent Legacy of Unicron part 2 of course. Scourge seems to be thinking more clearly, though that’s not saying much.

Within seconds of Shockwave entering the room and letting them know they’ll be serving him, Cyclonus is ‘triggered’. He calls Shockwave a “pompous, overbearing fool” and goes further – much further – by letting slip that they are destined kill him in the future and take his command. It’s such a ridiculously dumb and unnecessary outburst, like he’s developed the robot equivalent of tourettes syndrome! Scourge is furious.

The response is predictable: a volley of fire from Shockwave (who manages to miss, despite being at point blank range) as Cyclonus and Scourge scatter. The hapless pair unite with their Targetmaster Nebulans, Nightstick and Fracas, and return fire (also misfiring!). What happens next is entirely foreseen…

Shockwave appears with Megatron, instructing him that these are two ‘lieutenants of the hated Galvatron’ and must be destroyed, he’s happy to oblige. Cyclonus and Scourge are shocked and surprised – first Cyclonus is hit by a Fusion Cannon blast, and Scourge is pummelled and thrown against a wall.

Cyclonus, getting throttled, opens fire at point-blank range but Megatron only seems to become more enraged. He crushes Nightstick (surely fatal for the Nebulan) and threatens to crush Cyclonus, who screams for Scourge to help.

Scourge, on his knees, lines up Megatron with Fracas on full power to unleash a fatal blast. Then he thinks of the timeline, if Megatron dies might that mean that he can’t become Galvatron in 2006, and Cyclonus and Scourge might cease to exist as well. It’s a fascinating conundrum, and one that Scourge is not willing to test. He reverts to his jet mode and flees the fortress with Fracas, leaving poor old Cyclonus – the guy who was once able to throttle Megatron in Target: 2006 – to be terminated by Megatron tearing his head off.

In deep space the ‘heavens scream’ as a tear in space time is formed. Decapitation in a kids’ comic, well why not? It’s happened before, to Optimus Prime during the ‘Creation Matrix saga’ of 1985, and Scorponok’s head is severed by Highbrow in the 1988 Annual story All in the Minds. Neither of these died so Cyclonus seems to have been very unlucky in this instance!

In epilogue, Shockwave has decided that Megatron has proven himself ready to take on the main target. Human media reports a mechanoid answering Galvatron’s description running riot through a nearby settlement. Shockwave dispatches Megatron to find the “impostor who claims to be descended from you” and destroy him! And so, the stage is set for that irresistible reckoning, in the 1988 Transformers Annual (on sale now, naturally). It’s a good piece of marketing.

This issue is part of a major story arc that Simon Furman has been weaving in the UK comics since Fallen Angel (way back issue #101) where Galvatron fled to Earth’s past. We’ve since had Cyclonus and Scourge travel back (further disrupting time) and now the death of one of them nearly 20 years before his creation. This resulting rift in space-time is apparently the cause of the destruction of the Quintesson planet, as seen recently in the Space Pirates saga.

(Why the rift should form half the galaxy away at the Quintesson planet rather than at source is a curious question – there they are minding their own business, staging gruesome executions, and a rift that’s nothing to do with them shows up to destroy everything).

The comic is still being printed on the lower quality paper, but thankfully with eight of the 24 pages on glossy, including the cover. This is important as the tip in physical quality is unsettling. I remember thinking at the time that it was a sign of cost cutting and maybe the comic was losing sales and might be about to fold. In fact, it would survive until early 1993, though resorting to black and white and reprints along the way, which would test the loyalty of readers.

What happens when Megatron and Galvatron meet is told in the Annual story Altered Image.

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Wrecking Havoc

It’s Cyclonus and Scourge versus Galvatron versus The Wreckers, in this enjoyable three-way scrap from 1988, set in mid-western town

Transformers meets Top Gun, or so it appears from Jerry Paris’ fiery cover for UK issue 172 and the opening pages of its lead strip ‘Wrecking Havoc,’ by Simon Furman (naturally) and the rarely-spotted-though-much-celebrated artist Bryan Hitch. In fact, as I review the story 34 years later, Top Gun Maverick is wowing audiences in the cinemas and so it seems rather fitting to be revisiting this Decepticon dogfight.

The Transformation page intro suggests that readers may have thought they were witnessing an aerial battle between ‘Action Force’ (the anglicised version of GI Joe) and Decepticons Cyclonus and Scourge. This makes sense given that there have been crossover stories in the previous year, and AF was the back up strip in UK Transformers at this point in its run (July 1988).

However, by the most exciting thing on the welcome page as far as I was concerned then and now is the glimpse of Powermaster Optimus Prime and the assurance “He’s on his way honest…” and in fact Prime would be returning to the main strip, not as a computer-generated character, but as a fully restored Autobot in issue 177, just five weeks away. Of course, at this point fans had no inkling of what ‘Powermasters’ were, so the Hasbro advert for this new toy-line, on page 17, would have been especially interesting. It features Autobots Joyride, Getaway, Slapdash, but not Optimus, and Decepticons Darkwing and Dreadwind, whose name tags were mixed up.

But let’s get back to Wrecking Havoc. This is the fifth of five two-parters from Simon starring the Cybertr0n-based Autobot resistance movement led by Emirate Xaaron, and with Ultra Magnus as their star player. It picks up from Deadly Games, where the team were last seen waiting for their trans-dimensional portal to come online and to deposit them across the vast gulf of space to Earth. It’s not a perfect technology and I get the impression it can only be used when planets are in alignment, or some such, hence they are having to leave without Magnus. (On the letters page, we’re promised that Magnus’ final showdown with Galvatron will come, although I’m not sure it ever does, presumably because Time Wars was curtailed).

In the absence of internet, Furman must have consulted the military books to look-up the Grumman F14 Tomcat and presumably Hitch will have been provided with photos of the elite warplane (which according to Wikipedia is still in service today in Iran, although it stopped being widely used in 2006). There’s some fantastic artwork from the 16-year-old Hitch of Cyclonus and Scourge zooming up on the F14s and striking with deadly force. The rear of one plane explodes and the two pilots eject – phew, no humans injured yet – but Scourge is less obliging than his teammate, blowing a second plane to bits.

It’s enjoyable to see Nightstick and Fracas, the Target master companions of the two future Decepticons, seated in the cockpits. We don’t get a strong sense of the relationships except that Cyclonus is dismissive of Nightstick and won’t let him near the controls, whereas Scourge seems to have more confidence in his companion, and they seem the stronger pairing. Both Decepticons believe they have been enhanced by becoming Target-Masters and bonding with the Nebulans. This is revealed later in the issue by Shockwave, who has agreed to provide sanctuary for the pair if their mission to confront Galvatron fails.

As the aerial battle continues, Cyclonus’ arrogance counts against him as he is duped by two planes suddenly banking left and right and leaving him to collide with a precipice that somehow crept up on him! Down but not out, Cyclonus must quite recover his bearings and destroy a sidewinder missile that is homing in on him. He and Scourge scuttle off with their metaphorical tails between their legs, embarrassed at being bested by human jets. They fear that it’s a bad omen for their meeting with their old boss Galvatron.

An interlude sees a slimmed down line-up of Wreckers (minus Magnus but also inexplicably missing Whirl and Roadbuster, a shame) going through their drills as Xaaron and Wrecker commander Springer express their concerns about the mission. A combat drop through an unstable portal is bad enough without facing one of the most powerful Decepticons in creation. There’s no backing out now… but I do have to wonder why Galvatron is such a target. They could, if they wanted, leave him to the Earthbound Autobots to deal with, while they concentrate on the bigger fish they must fry, namely overthrowing the Decepticons on Cybertron. It could be that with Prime now dead and his successor Grimlock having abandoned the Earth, Xaaron and Springer feel and obligation to fill the void.

Cyclonus and Scourge transform and land in the middle of a human settlement. Their arrival sends the human inhabitants (depicted in an array of eclectic outfits) to flee in a panic, all except one guy in a suit who is holding the shrunken gun-form of Galvatron and pleading to be allowed to go. Galvatron reverts to his robot form, surprising Scourge and Cyclonus, and although he stipulated that they should come unarmed there’s Galvy with his trademark particle cannon! He’s less happy that they have brought along the Nebulans – he also specified they come alone.

Oddly enough, given their history there are no pleasantries, nor any attempt by Cyclonus and Scourge to deceive their old boss by posing as allies and finding out about the time-jump control. They foolishly show their hand immediately by declaring to Galvatron that they have no desire to serve him and again, and they are prepared to take his trigger by force. Their intention is of course to return to 2008 and the position of power they enjoyed there.

Let’s explore that a moment. The are two ways to get to 2008. One is simply to sit tight and let the years roll around, after all 20 years is no big deal for an immortal robot. Or they can skip over those years with the device, saving themselves the wait, but then what – surely, they would run in an older version of Galvatron, laying in wait for them. It’s a flaw in the story’s logic I feel. (Or maybe they know that Galvatron is destined to die in the past?)

Reacting to their clumsy approach, Galvatron maintains the pretence that he still possesses the time travel device and challenges the two Target Masters to take him on. It’s certainly a fight I would have like to have seen, but alas it’s not to be, for at that moment the sky opens as the Wreckers descend from the portal, realising to their horror that they are smack-bang in the middle of a human settlement and the mission is already doomed. All this sets-up a strong cliff-hanger going into next week’s issue.

Jeff Anderson’s cover for issue 173 sees Galvatron busting through a wall, bricks flying in all directions. It’s okay as an image except that the Hulk or some other Marvel character of human size, he’s a giant robot. He should be a lot taller than most brick walls and the bricks and mortar itself would be tiny in comparison, but not so in Jeff’s image. It niggles with me, but I imagine most readers would not have noticed. Bryan Hitch continues one art duties, with Springer being propelled into an apartment block in the opening splash page and demolishing it. Interestingly there’s a naked silhouette in one of the shop windows, either a mannequin or somebody blissfully unaware of what’s going on outside!

Springer dodges Cyclonus’ downward punch in his direction and a laser blast before recovering his weapon and shooting a crater like dent into the Deception’s chest (the first time I’ve seen weapons have this level of impact). In a little reminder to the readers of the Target-Master concept, Springer attempts to relieve the dazed Cyclonus of his weapon, only for it to transform into Nightstick and run away.

I mentioned previously that The Wreckers are little light on troops, with some key people missing. Here they are not only battling three Decepticons rather than the one they expected to be up against, but Sandstorm is left performing crowd control.

Rack ‘n’ Ruin charges towards Galvatron, engaging in hand-to-hand combat and a close-range blast to the chest (another crater impact) but the Decepticon punches our Broadside and swings him into the others. The fight is going badly.

Fortunately, Galvatron inexplicably decides to voice out loud the irony that if the Autobots had waited, Cyclonus and Scourge would have tried to do the job for them (no internal monologue for him). Springer overhears Galvatron going on to say that the time travel device no longer exists, and – after sandwiching Cyclonus’ head between two cars (probably my favourite moment in the story) – he ambushes Galvatron and leaps away (a welcome reminder of his ability in this regard), exclaiming loudly that the “time jump trigger device is ours”. Cyclonus and Scourge immediately take the bait and go in pursuit, leaving the human settlement.

Galvatron understands that Springer has exploited his ex-lieutenants’ weakness, “their stupidity” and of course offers them a choice: ‘save your leader or try and take me in’. The Wreckers promptly go to Springer’s aid forcing Cyclonus and Scourge to take to the air and flee. Springer’s gamble worked, but presumably if they had offered to help Cyclonus and Scourge to take down Galvatron they might have collectively succeeded. The answer is surely that as soon Springer realised human innocents were in danger the priorities of the mission changed.

Despite a bold declaration that ‘Galvatron’s head will be ours’ they have been outwitted for now. Likewise, Cyclonus and Scourge will be forced into the arms (arm?) of Shockwave with rather far-reaching consequences (see Dry Run). And so, the curtain falls on an enjoyable run of UK stories. Next issue, the very long awaited (six and a half months) continuation of the Blaster versus Grimlock story. At last!

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